I'm not nearly as dumb as I pretend to be
by cvreitzer
Summary: Alistair gets everything he wants-the woman he loves, the child he desires, and to prank Morrigan.  One shot of Morrigan's ritual.


Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age Origins.

Elissa frowned at Morrigan. The two had become like sisters over their travels. They hadn't always agreed about what they were doing, but Morrigan had softened a bit, and she had helped toughen up Elissa. And now she was asking Elissa to give her the one thing Elissa had wanted beyond anything. She was asking for Alistair. She had found a ritual in her mother's book. It would produce a child. Alistair's child. It would spare them both from the death required to kill the archdemon.

Elissa was floored. A child. Alistair would be able to conceive a child. It was the reason they couldn't be together. Elissa turned away as angry tears burned her eyes, remembering his cruel words only a few days before.

Alistair had walked to her, joking about being made king. She could see the hurt in his eyes, but it was what had to be done. He had already stepped up and become the man Elissa knew he could be, but she feared the tone of his voice and the look in his eye as he took her hand and asked her to walk with him.

"Now that I am king…" He began and cringed at the word. "That will still take some getting used to." He smiled at her sadly before he continued. "I will have to marry."

"Is that your idea of a proposal?" She asked smiling at him. He had always been so nervous with anything having to do with the matters of the heart. They were even still virgins because he had wanted to wait so it would be special.

"No. I mean…I have to marry a noble woman." He began and rubbed the back of his neck. She looked at him puzzled.

"Daughter of Teryn Cousland? Doesn't get much more noble than that." She laughed nervously as she felt a cold feeling settle over her. He was breaking up with her. She could hear Eamon's ideas in Alistair's next words.

"But I have to have an heir."

"So?"

"You can't give me that heir. Being a Grey Warden make it next to impossible to have a child, and two together would never work. I can't marry you." He said looking at her sadly, he started to reach for her, but she pulled back.

"I can't have children?" She whispered as tears blurred her vision. She sank to her knees on the cold ground and wrapped her arms around her stomach. She had given up her family, left them to die. She had given up her life. The taint would eventually drive her mad and kill her. She had made decisions that had killed and doomed people And it was all for the greater good. She had understood and excepted it, but now this. She would never be able to have children. It was too much. All she had been able to think of since meeting Alistair was their children.

"I'm sorry. I….I thought you knew." Alistair said standing over her. She looked up at him and saw his pain in all this as well. She hated him at this moment, as much as she loved him. He was the bloody king and he could marry who ever he wanted, but he was going to shove her aside so he could have children with someone else.

"I…."

"I love you, Elissa. I don't want to be without you. You could stay and lead my armies. Be with me outside of the public eye." He suggested. She looked up at him and he saw his mistake right away.

Her eyes flashed with fire and she jumped to her feet and advanced on him. He was glad she was unarmed or he was sure she would have run him through with her sword. "Did you just suggest that I, Elissa Cousland, become your mistress?"

"I…it's the only way we can be together." Alistair whined reaching for her. She shoved him back and stalked away from him.

"Do not for one moment think I will stand here and watch you marry. Does Eamon already have you a bride picked out?" She asked whirling back to him. He looked down at the ground. "Of course he does." She laughed bitterly. "I'm going to be sick."

"Elissa…" He tried again.

"Don't, Alistair. It's over. Let it go. I will lead your armies for the Blight. But once the archdemon is dead, I am gone."

"Elissa…" She held up her hand to him and shook her head. There was nothing left to say.

That had been a week ago. They had since then traveled to Redcliffe. Elissa hated the fact that she had saved Eamon and his cursed family. They had pretended to be nice and now their true colors had shown.

And now Elissa was faced with an impossible decision. She had found Fergus alive, and she wanted time with him. She didn't want to die. And she wouldn't allow Alistair to. Morrigan's offer was cruel, but it was the only way.

"Fine. I will convince him." She heard herself say. Shocking Morrigan. Morrigan moved to her and hugged her.

"I know this is hard, but it is the right decision. I don't want you to die, and I know you will not allow him to. Hurry to him. The ritual is done all that is left is for him to lie with me."

Elissa numbly moved from her room and headed down the hall to Alistair's. He grinned at her when she knocked. It took her breath away still. Her heart had quit working with his cruelty, but it seemed determined to pain her whenever he was around.

"That is a serious look. What did Morrigan want?" He asked.

"What?" She asked looking at him and finally focusing on him.

"Morrigan? Evil witchy girl? I saw her stalking around your room earlier. The look she gave me…" He shivered in mock fear.

"We need to talk, Alistair."

"That is my least favorite way to start a conversation." He teased, but his smile fell as he saw her tears. "What is it?" He asked reaching out and holding her arms.

"You know I love you, right?" She whispered. She did, Maker helper, and it was killing her.

"Yes. And I you. You are scaring me here." He laughed nervously.

"I need you to do something you won't like." She continued.

"Not helping with the fear, Elissa."

She took a deep breath and just blurted it out. "I need you to sleep with Morrigan." He looked at her shocked. And then began to laugh.

"Oh, that's rich! Paying me back for all the teasing I did….wait, you are serious. Why?" He said frowning.

"I won't lie to you. It will produce a child." She said unable to keep the truth from him. She went on to tell him about the ritual and that it would be the only way they would both survive. He looked at her nervously.

"So I'm supposed to go and get Morrigan pregnant so we can be spared? Is this really what you want?" He asked looking at Elissa intently.

"I…no. I don't. This is crazy. I shouldn't have asked you. Forget it." She said and turned to go to the door, but Alistair was there blocking her.

"Will you allow me to take the killing blow?" He asked watching her guardedly.

"No. You are the king of Ferelden. We did not go through all the trouble of a Landsmeet only to have you killed."

"Then I will do it. I won't allow you to die. It would kill me. I just wish…" He said looking down sadly.

"Wish what?" Elissa asked shocked by his willingness to do it.

"That I had been with you first. I wish I had taken the chance and…I didn't want my first time to be like this. I wanted it to be with someone I loved, but I guess doing it to save the woman I love is going to have to be enough." He shrugged. He held his breath hoping she would take the bait. He hoped she didn't hate him so much now, that she would ruin all his planning and scheming.

"Alistair…we could…I mean…." Elissa stammered. "The ritual has to be done tonight, but she didn't say it had to be done this moment. We could be each other's first and then…"

He moved to her wrapping her in his arms. "I was hoping you would say that." He kissed her, letting all his pent up emotions leak into the kiss. She clung to him wishing desperately that they weren't in their armor so she could feel him. He pulled back and began tugging off his armor. She followed suit.

She knew it was foolish. Her heart wasn't strong enough to survive another blow. But she was going into battle, she might not live even if they did the ritual. And even if they did survive, she would never see him again. She was going to be selfish this one time and take what it was she wanted.

Alistair pulled her back into his arms kissing her as he tumbled her back to the bed. He ran his hands down her smooth and pale skin, murmuring his love for her as he kissed his way down her neck. He suddenly pulled away from her.

"What's wrong?" She asked opening her eyes and looking up at him.

"Elissa, marry me." He said watching her.

"Alistair, you said…." She looked away hurt.

"I know what I said, but damn it, I'm the king. I decided who I marry. There has to be something good to come of this." He said frowning at her.

"But what about your heir?" She whispered afraid of the way her heart was beating.

"We will adopt. There are children out there who need a good home. I don't care about that so long as I have you."

"Are you just saying this because we are going to…" Elissa said still trying to keep the hope down.

"Maker forgive me, but no. If you say no, I'm still going to make love to you, and ask you again when you are weak with happiness." He said smiling. He lowered his body back against her and stroked her face, wiping away the tears. "Marry me. Be my queen."

"I…are you sure?" She asked biting her lip. She groaned as he slid against her.

"Definitely."

"Then yes. And so help me, Alistair, if you change your mind, I will kill you and anyone you have ever cared about."

"That's the woman I fell in love with. Nothing could change my mind, my love." He said running his hands back down her. He found her center and gently slid his finger in feeling her warmth. She arched against him. "I'm sorry we don't have time for me to show you all the naughty things I learned from the book I snuck from the Revered Mother's office. It was called the 'The Art of Passionate Love', but we will have the rest of our lives for me to show you."

He stroked her until she was ready and then he plunged inside of her. She moaned his name and arched into him. He kissed her as he began moving. She matched his rhythm as she bucked and tightened around him. He groaned her name as he shattered along with her. He lay atop her carefully keeping his weight from crushing her. He kissed her again.

"I love you, my bride." He whispered.

"Um. And I love you, my king." She said raking her nails down his back. It had been quick, but so wonderful. It was the release she had needed.

He kissed her as he ground against her again. She moaned into his mouth. He twisted pulling her along so she was straddling him. He guided her hips as she rode him. She tried to protest that he needed to go to Morrigan, but he said just this one last time. He needed to keep her like this until Morrigan came to investigate why they weren't returning. He had hurried the first time fearful she would come sooner rather than later. This time he could enjoy Elissa more.

She was crying his name, her head thrown back when Morrigan burst through the doors. Alistair smiled at her wickedly as he drove into Elissa again and both finished for the second time. You had to love Grey Warden stamina, he thought.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" Shrieked Morrigan. Elissa started and whirled around to look at Morrigan wide eyed. Alistair laid back against the pillows with his hands behind his head.

"I…he…didn't want his first time to be with…and we…" Elissa blushed and slid off Alistair clutching the sheet to her chest as she looked at Morrigan in confusion.

"You idiot!" Morrigan advanced, but a chuckle from Alistair stopped her. Alistair slid his hand along Elisa's back. Morrigan glared at him. "You knew, didn't you?" She demanded.

"Yes. I did." He said smiling back at her. "But I should thank you. You gave me everything I wanted. Now I get Elissa and my child."

Elissa whipped her head around to look at him. He smiled at her look of confusion. "What am I missing?" She asked.

"You are pregnant now." Morrigan snarled at her.

"I'm…how?" Elissa was still confused.

"Because the ritual was cast on me. The girl I slept with would have gotten pregnant. Morrigan knew this and that was why she insisted it be tonight. She was afraid that on the eve of battle we wouldn't be able to stay away from each other. And she had to wait to make her move when we would need the answer to our little dilemma. She knew I would never sleep with her unless it was our only option." Alistair explained.

"How did you know?" Morrigan demanded.

"I'm not nearly as dumb as I pretend to be. I knew you were up to something. Elissa was to trusting to see it, but I did." Alistair shrugged. "And it doesn't hurt to have a sneaky assassin, a brilliant bard, and a good mage who want to see you and the woman you love happy."

"Zevran, Leliana, and Wynne?" Elissa asked. "What do they have to do with this?"

"Zevran stole the book from you at the tower. You were so exhausted it was a few days before you even remembered it. Zevran, Wynne, Leliana and I poured over it. Between the two rogues and the mage, they were able to crack the book and saw what it entailed. Wynne cast a couple of sleep spells on you after you defeated Flemeth so we had time to go over that one as well. Zevran then kept an eye on Morrigan, waiting for her to do the ritual. He came and found me tonight and together we waited outside your room listening. I had already formed my plan long before, but there it was. I had to break up with you because of Eamon's pressure. We couldn't let him know what was going on. I am glad that you chose to be honest with me about the child and that you would rather die than let me lay with Morrigan."

"Is this why you wouldn't sleep with me before?" Elissa asked processing it all.

He nodded. "Yes. I needed to have that reason for why you had to sleep with me first. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I'm sorry I kept it all from you, but I knew you loved Morrigan and wouldn't deny her what she asked."

"You are a worthy opponent, but you have ruined things for me." Morrigan glared at him before turning softer eyes to Elissa. "I am sorry to have used you this way, but I had to look out for myself. I am going now and you will never see me again." And with that Morrigan transformed into a bird and flew out the window. Wynne appeared a few minutes later. Elissa turned red all the way to her hair as Wynne insisted on examining her.

Wynne beamed at them and nodded. "It worked. Life is in your womb."

Elissa looked down at her stomach and laid a hand on it. She was pregnant. With Alistair's child. And they were going to be married. She had lost her sister, but she had gained so much. She knew she should be mad about what Alistair and the others had done, but she couldn't. Wynne shut the door as Zevran and Leliana appeared, shooing them out. They both called out congratulations and argued over who got to tell the others first.

Elissa turned and looked at Alistair who was watching her intently. He feared she would be angry, but he felt relief when she smiled at him. "So you knew we would have a child?"

"I hoped we would. I'm so sorry I hurt and tricked you."

"And you still want to marry me?" She asked.

"More than anything." He answered seriously.

"Then I suppose we now have all night and you can show me the naughty things you learned in that book." Elissa said grinning wickedly as she pulled him back down to her.

"Your wish is my command, my queen." Alistair purred.


End file.
